How Marriage Before Sex Ensures Way to Best Love

You’ve heard the advice a million times- sex before marriage is healthy.

It’s a familiar story that usually goes like this: You have to test-drive a car before buying it. Others even go the extra mile of getting you pregnant before they can accept marrying you.

Sounds familiar? You bet it is.

So in a world where marriage before sex in relationships is hardly the norm, the concept of finding love through a committed relationship seems untenable.

But perhaps there is a reason why the concept still holds significance. 

Fact: Marriage is more than just a legal union; it is a sacred bond between two individuals who are willing to commit to each other through thick and thin [just like most marriage vows say]. 

Also, it is a promise to love, honor, and respect each other. And when this commitment is made before engaging in a physical relationship, it deepens the emotional connection between partners.

In essence, it’s more than just a traditional or religious belief; it’s a commitment that carries profound implications for the strength and health of a relationship.

In this article, we delve into why marriage before sex matters.

Let’s get started, shall we?

Marriage Before Sex: The Foundation of Trust and Respect

Building a Strong Emotional Connection

The most crucial component of a happy marriage is building trust. By waiting until marriage to have sex, couples often create a strong emotional foundation first. 

This foundation is crucial because it ensures that both partners truly understand and respect each other before adding the complexity of physical intimacy.

Think about this for a moment. If you have carnal knowledge before your wedding, there’ll be nothing to look forward to. Contrarily, if you remain chaste, you’ll be eager to explore each other on your honeymoon.

In other words, it will be like unwrapping a much-anticipated gift.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Respecting Each Other’s Boundaries

Choosing to wait until marriage demonstrates a mutual respect for boundaries and values. 

It signifies that both partners are willing to prioritize their emotional and spiritual connection over immediate physical gratification.

What’s more, it signifies that when one person is not ready for sex for whatever reason, the other can restrain themselves till an appropriate time. 

After all, if they wait before marriage, they can abstain when married if the need arises.

Strengthening the Commitment

A Symbol of Dedication

Unquestionably, marriage before sex can be seen as a powerful symbol of dedication. 

To this end, it shows that both individuals are committed to a lifelong partnership, not just a temporary relationship. 

This level of commitment often leads to stronger, more enduring marriages.

What about sex before marriage? 

Here’s the main issue with it. It sounds mechanical, done to gratify immediate selfish needs, shows a lack of patience, and generally leads to a lack of interest afterward. (After all, I’ve had it). Get it?

Delaying Gratification for Greater Rewards

As shown above, in a world where instant gratification is the norm, choosing to wait until marriage can be a profound exercise in self-control and patience. 

This delay can make the experience of physical intimacy even more meaningful and special when it finally occurs within the context of a committed marriage.

Deepening the Emotional Bond

Marriage Before Sex Fosters Emotional Intimacy

Couples can develop a deeper, more meaningful bond by focusing on emotional intimacy. This emotional connection can provide a strong foundation for the physical relationship that follows, leading to a more satisfying and fulfilling marriage.

It takes a strong man to connect emotionally first and wait for marriage before engaging in sex. Comparatively, a woman will always have an emotional connection first.

Either way, abstaining from sex for both men and women is vitally important to discover the true meaning of love.

Understanding Each Other’s Needs

When couples take the time to get to know each other on an emotional level before becoming physically intimate, they are better equipped to understand and meet each other’s needs. 

Conversely, this understanding can lead to a more harmonious and supportive relationship.

Besides, what better way to start a marriage than avoiding sexual immorality and being pure till the wedding night? The Bible affirms the same:

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality” 1 Thess 4:3

Aligning with Personal and Spiritual Values

Upholding Personal Beliefs

Let us be honest.

When growing up, a majority of people know from an early age that the place of sex is in marriage. Anything outside of this is frowned upon.

Therefore, for many, the decision to wait until marriage aligns with deeply held personal or spiritual beliefs. Upholding these values can bring peace and fulfillment, knowing they live according to their principles.

Or according to the tenets, they learned when young. The outcome? A sense of victory when you persevere till your wedding night.

Marriage Before Sex Enhances Spiritual Connection

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” 

This verse in Genesis 2:24 emphatically shows the importance of a spiritual connection after marriage (not before)

Accordingly, for those who view marriage as a sacred union, waiting until marriage to have sex can enhance the spiritual connection between partners. 

In addition, this shared commitment to spiritual values can strengthen their bond and provide a strong foundation for their future together.

Reducing Stress and Anxiety

Eliminating Premature Pressure

Sex before marriage is enticing and has a special appeal to young people.

Be that as it may, engaging in sexual intimacy too early in a relationship can sometimes add unnecessary pressure and stress. 

On the contrary, by waiting until marriage, couples can focus on building a strong, trusting relationship without the added anxiety of premature physical intimacy.

The simple truth is that waiting far outweighs the premature pressure of early sexual engagement.

Marriage Before Sex Fosters Open Communication

Admittedly, not rushing to have sex early in a relationship affords you time to know what you are getting into.

Yet again, being married before having sex might promote openness and communication about expectations, desires, and boundaries. 

You have ample time for open dialogue which can help prevent misunderstandings and foster a healthier, more supportive relationship.

Enhancing the Physical Relationship

Building Anticipation

Believe it or not, the anticipation that comes with waiting can enhance the physical relationship once it begins. 

Clearly, the excitement and buildup can make the experience more enjoyable, rewarding, and special for both partners.

If I may say so, this turns out to be the best wedding present one can receive.

Ensuring Mutual Consent and Readiness

But wait, there’s more.

Delaying having sex ensures that both partners are:

• Fully ready 
• Mutually consenting 

No one feels rushed. There is no coercion. In any case, your level of mental and physical readiness gives you calm. This readiness can lead to a more positive and satisfying relationship in your new life.

Indeed, couples who wait until marriage often report higher satisfaction in their relationships. 

And by prioritizing the commitment to marriage before engaging in physical intimacy, couples are more likely to approach their relationship with a long-term perspective

Final Thoughts on Marriage Before Sex

Let’s rewind and sum it up.

While the decision to wait until marriage before having sex may not be popular, especially today, it holds significant benefits for those who choose this path. 

From building a strong foundation of trust and respect to enhancing emotional intimacy and aligning with personal values, marriage before sex can lead to a deeper, more meaningful connection. 

Ultimately, discovering the true meaning of love involves looking beyond the physical and nurturing a connection that stands the test of time. 

Are you pro or anti-marriage before sex? Share your thoughts

FAQs on Marriage Before Sex

Why is it important to consider marriage before sex? 

Marriage before sex is often advocated to promote emotional and spiritual connection, trust, and commitment between partners. It emphasizes building a strong foundation for a lasting relationship based on mutual respect and understanding.

How does waiting until marriage to have sex affect a relationship? 

Waiting until marriage can enhance the emotional bond and create a deeper sense of trust and commitment. It may also reduce the risk of potential conflicts and misunderstandings related to sexual expectations and experiences.

Are there any religious or cultural reasons for advocating marriage before sex? 

Yes, many religions and cultures encourage waiting until marriage to have sex as a way to uphold moral values, maintain purity, and foster a sacred union between partners. This belief is rooted in the idea that sex is a meaningful act that should be reserved for a committed marital relationship.

What are the potential challenges of practicing abstinence until marriage? 

Challenges can include societal pressure, peer influence, and maintaining self-control. Couples may also face difficulties in aligning their sexual expectations and desires once they are married, which requires open communication and mutual understanding.

How can couples maintain intimacy while waiting until marriage to have sex? 

Couples can focus on emotional intimacy through meaningful conversations, shared activities, and building trust. Physical affection, such as hugging, kissing, and holding hands, can also help maintain closeness while respecting each other’s boundaries. Engaging in non-sexual forms of physical intimacy can strengthen the bond and prepare couples for a fulfilling sexual relationship after marriage.

James Nduati Charagu

James is a published author, blogger, and content writer.

He writes about relationships, marriage, and self-improvement to bring out the best in you.

When not writing, he enjoys having a bourbon and coke, playing with his cat, and traveling the world to discover new places.