How to Deal With a Relationship Breakup and Move On

So, you’re going through a relationship crisis and breakup, huh?

Relationship grief is personified. And getting through any form of grief stinks. 

Heartbreak is like coping with death and is one of the most stressful experiences one can go through.

But, don’t worry and let depression creep in; we’ve all been there. 

Although breakups can feel like an emotional rollercoaster, you are not alone.

In this post, we’ll go through the specifics of dealing with and getting over a breakup and how to go on with a smile on your face afterward.

Effects of a Relationship Breakup

Relationship breakups come with multiple, unpleasant side effects. 

They stir up a wild mix of feelings, ranging from sadness to anger and everything in between. 

Here are some of them:

• Your appetite changes. While some people keep off food and feel nauseous most of the time, others binge. This simultaneously leads to weight loss or corresponding gain
• A feeling of malaise. You lack the motivation to face even the simplest of daily tasks
• Stomach pains, upsets, and headaches. Your body feels weak and ill.

It’s completely normal to feel this way. 

What is not normal is how different people face and handle the situation.

So, how do you get yourself out of this mess? 

Image credit Alex Greene on Pexels

Accept Your Feelings and Grieve Over Them

First things first, it’s okay to feel low after a breakdown. After all, we are all humans and subject to such moments once in a while. Even Jesus had such moments- e.g. when he felt forsaken by God at his crucifixion.

It is productive to embrace those emotions and not fight them. No matter what you do, the breakdown has happened, and there is no turning back.

Cry if you need to. This is another sign that you’re human. 

Besides, it’s therapeutic and will make you feel a sense of relief afterward. Certainly, it will help you process your feelings better and aid in alleviating your pain.

Loving Yourself After a Breakup 

After the relationship breakup, it’s time to prioritize yourself- physically and mentally. 

After all, you were alone before the relationship began, and now that it is over, you are back to being alone. Learning the ropes of being alone is not a new ballgame to you.

Remember, you have a future ahead of you. Don’t neglect to nurture yourself and lose yourself in self-pity.

Rise from your fall, dust yourself, and practice the following self-love recommendations:

Care for your physical well-being 

More often than not, a relationship breakup leads to foul moods. 

Taking care of your body is a positive decision that can improve your mood. 

Get moving with healthy choices, e.g.

• Eat well and stay healthy. If need be, have a dietician draw out healthy meal plans for you. Do not neglect taking meals. In the same breath, do not overeat
• Avoid using alcohol and drugs as an escape route. This route only makes matters worse and getting out of the resultant situation has proved fatal to some
• Get some rest and catch some good sleep.

Manage your mental health 

Peggy is a recovering mental patient.

When she was three months pregnant, her boyfriend dumped her. She found it too hard to handle the breakup. Eventually, she miscarried.

Afterward, she lived with the guilt of her child’s death. She blamed herself for it.

A friend advised her to see a therapist. And that began her journey to recovery.

Are you in a similar situation? If you find it challenging to cope with those intense emotions, consider talking to a therapist too. 

They act like your emotional trainers and can guide you through this trying period.

Rediscover Yourself 

A breakup is not all doom and gloom. It can be an opportunity for self-discovery and personal growth. You may have had latent talents that were not yet apparent. By being alone, you get the chance to explore them to their full potential.

Rekindle your passions after a relationship breakup

Remember the things and hobbies you set aside during your relationship for another time? 

Well, it’s time to revisit them and reignite your passions. And don’t limit yourself to these. Create new memories as well. 

Busy yourself with friends

You get to know your true friends and family during moments like these. Even relatives, yes!

Engage everyone who offers to be your shoulder.

Share your feelings with those who will understand your plight and be there to give you solace. The ones that are true to you will definitely be at your side during these tribulations.

Date and love yourself after a relationship breakup

Ever been on a solo date? Sounds comical when you are dealing with a breakup but you certainly can date yourself.

Photo courtesy of Cotton Bro Studio on Pexels

Go out to a place you love. 

Eat the food you crave.

Wine and dine. 

Hell, even go on the dance floor and drown your sorrows with a few jiggles. 

Shake that leg till your head is clear.

Yes, dating yourself is a sweet way to handle a relationship breakup.

Relationship Breakup New Goals

We all have goals for the future. A relationship breakup disrupts such goals.

You can counter this by creating a vision board to replace the disrupted goals. The new goals give you something exciting to look forward to. It will also help you forget the shared goals you once had, which may impact you negatively.

And to further help you in this quest, the following tips are golden nuggets that will give you a head start:

Avoid social media follow-ups

There’s the temptation to stalk your ex, in cases of fresh breakups. You get the temptation to see how they are faring after the breakup. This only adds to your pain, especially if they have moved on and found other partners, and seem happier. Avoid such follow-ups.

In the same vein, don’t engage in revenge postings on social media. The postings may be futile if the intended recipient does not see them, or ignores them altogether.

Block your ex

It helps to block your ex from all your social media accounts. 

Avoid all reminders, e.g., old text messages, by deleting them. 

Delete photos too if you get tempted to see them in your gallery.

Dealing with relationship breakup mementos

You should decide how to keep mementos (like that lovely bracelet they gave you on your birthday)-in a wise way

Consider stashing them away until you reach the acceptance phase. It is only then that you decide what to do with them by reaching a rational decision. 

You can gift them to someone else, decide to keep them now that your grief is over, or even throw them away.

Read relationship breakup books

Read a book that you’ve always procrastinated reading. Reading is a therapy called bibliotherapy. 

Look for books that relate to what you’re going through. In there, you will find case studies you can learn from. 

Certainly, there are people who went through and documented what you are going through and came out victorious.

You can likewise document your woes and offer them as lessons to those who will come after you with a problem similar to yours.

Breakup Quotes

Besides reading books, these all-time favorite relationship quotes are motivational:

• “Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” Mark Twain
• “We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Joseph Campbell
• “One day they’ll realize they lost a diamond while playing with worthless stones.” Turcois Ominek
• “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” — Marilyn Monroe
• “I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.” Zsa Zsa Gabor

Breakups are painful, but they don’t have to be fatal. Cheer up and look forward to a beautiful tomorrow.

Building Healthy Relationships

Suffering a setback from your relationship is not a death sentence to prevent you from dating again.

When the time is ripe, brace yourself to approach new relationships with a positive outlook.

But make sure you don’t fall into the same trap once more.

Learn from the past 

You obviously have learned from your previous relationship and should take a moment to reflect on it. Use the insights you have to make better choices this time round.

Once bitten, twice shy, as they say. It would be foolhardy to find yourself in the same hole once more.

Final Thoughts

Remember, there’s no one solution to recovering from a breakup that works evenly for all.

It is a different process for individuals, regardless of whether you are the one who left the relationship, or the one who was abandoned. It’s a unique journey for everyone. 

So, take it one step at a time, lean on your network of friends and family, and invest in your well-being. 

You can do this!

James Nduati Charagu

James is a published author, blogger, and content writer.

He writes about relationships, marriage, and self-improvement to bring out the best in you.

When not writing, he enjoys having a bourbon and coke, playing with his cat, and traveling the world to discover new places.