From Single to Taken: A Practical Guide on How to Get a Girlfriend

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Are you wondering how to get a girlfriend and not sure where to start? It takes time, effort, and a bit of luck now and then.

I was there years ago and can well relate. It indeed took me several dates to land my “taken” status.

Not only did I find it an intimidating phase of growing up, but it was an eye-opener too. With some of what I experienced, as can be seen below, you too can draw some lessons.

Read on and follow this simple guide to overcome your fears and triumph in your love journey. Certainly, your special someone might just be around, lurking at arms-length.

Just reach out.


Tips on How to Get a Girlfriend

1. Put Yourself Out There Socially

Social events have taken a prominent role in our lives now more than ever before. If you attend events, join clubs, volunteer in your community, and expand your social circle, you may find your girlfriend.

Those are places where single girls are bound to hang out and be found. 

Meeting new people increases your chances of meeting someone special. Say yes when friends invite you to social gatherings. The more people you meet, the more opportunities you have.

While finding a girlfriend may not necessarily mean finding the right person, it’s about finding someone compatible with you…

Someone who makes you happy.

And with time and effort, you’ll find the love of your life in the long run.

2. Try Online Dating to Get a Girlfriend

Rider: Be 18 and over

The advent of the internet brought with it an easier-on-the-button-touch mode of communication.

Gone are the baby boomers and Gen-X days when we had to write a letter that took a week to reach our girlfriends. And another week, if lucky, to get a reply.

We would wait with bated breath at the school assembly, listening with pin-drop silence as the duty teacher read out letters that had come in the post office.

The internet has now become a common, real-time way for singles to connect.

You can easily create profiles on dating apps/sites that help connect you with compatible people.

While at it, be honest in your profile about your interests and what you’re looking for. Similarly, browse other people’s profiles and only message women you’re interested in politely.

Treat all the people you’ll meet online with respect. This means being polite and considerate when chatting. Don’t be a cyberbully. And above all, avoid making public sexist jokes and comments. After establishing familiarity, you can do so through DMs.

A lady talking on a landline and perusing her mobile


3. Ask Friends to Set You Up

It pays to tell close friends and family you’re looking to date. They might surprisingly know someone suitable for you.

Try to go on a date with someone your friends recommend. This takes some pressure off that first date. Since the person comes pre-vetted, it’s a much easier approach.

Take my story for example…

I was a recluse before some colleagues took me out one day. While having lunch and a drink, I opened up and formed my first-ever girlfriend relationship. 

Though she turned out to be slightly older than me, it was much better for the experience. She, in a word, opened the dating world for me.

The friends had made it possible. My earlier fears of talking to her had melted in an instant on that memorable lunch date.

Amazing, isn’t it?

Opening up to friends may be your predestined route as well. Test the waters by exploring them.

Friends making merry toasting


4. Don’t Come On Too Strong

While actively putting yourself out there is important, coming on too strong with women you just met may be a major turn-off.

Here’s the main issue with that…

They may perceive you as a snob or an arrogant person.

The trick is to have friendly, low-pressure conversations focusing on shared interests at first. If there’s mutual chemistry, ask them on a simple first date. From there, it will be like a maze, with different pieces fitting perfectly.

These other extra attributes will make you stand out and be attractive on your mission to get a girlfriend.

  • Make the first move. If you find someone interesting, don’t shy away. Strike that conversation. After all, a ‘no’ answer could be the only bad thing to happen.
  • Confidence: It is an attractive trait for women, and when you are confident, it oozes from your face. Therefore, stand out tall, make eye contact, and smile your way to her heart.
  • Be a good listener. While talking is essential, paying attention is equally important in a conversation. People appreciate it when you take the time to listen to them and ask questions. Appreciate and compliment them too. People will naturally love genuine compliments.
  • Be positive and interesting. Indeed, no one wants to be around someone boring and negative all the time. Have positive vibes, even when you don’t sound like it. Have hobbies and interests that you’re passionate about. This will endear you to others.

5. Be Your Best Self

While trying to get a girlfriend, make sure you exhibit positive qualities that will attract a suitable partner.

To bring out the best in you, be 

  • kind and courteous,
  • well-groomed, with good hygiene and decent clothing,
  • employed or pursuing gainful goals, and 
  • emotionally and physically available when the situation demands it.

This will work out well to show your vision for the future.

Develop hobbies and interests that give you happiness in life outside of a relationship. A fulfilling, well-rounded life is attractive.

You must portray your real self while out looking for a girlfriend. A fake identity does not cut the cloth.


Remember, the right person will love you for who you are. Not what you are in life.

Indeed, a lot of successful people started from the bottom and worked their way up, like Do Chang and his wife, who started as peasant immigrants in the U.S. to be mega rich.

Get inspiration from the story of the Do Won Chang couple here.


Here’s the bottom line…

Finding a girlfriend takes time. But the right one for you is out there!

Don’t be discouraged if you don’t find her right off the block. A false start does not mean you are off track.

Strive to become your best self, meet new people, try new things, and stay positive. 

With an open-minded, patient attitude, you’ll find each other.

A word of caution, though… 

Take your time to get to know someone well before making things official. This will prevent you from making a mistake.

I hope it helps.

Let me read your views in the comments section below.


Q: What qualities should I look for in a potential girlfriend?

A: Seek someone with shared values and interests. Look for qualities like honesty, kindness, and compatibility.

Q: Is online dating a good option for finding a girlfriend?

A: Most definitely. Online dating can be effective. Choose notable platforms, create an honest profile, and be clear about your intentions.

Q: How can I maintain a healthy relationship once I find a girlfriend?

A: Prioritize communication, trust, and mutual respect. Keep the relationship healthy by continuing to learn about each other and sharing experiences.

Q: What if I haven’t found a girlfriend despite trying various approaches?

A: Be patient and stay positive. Reflect on your approach, seek feedback from friends, and consider expanding your social circles or trying newer approaches.

Q: How do I overcome the fear of rejection in the dating process?

A: When starting dating, be prepared for two outcomes; acceptance or rejection. Focus on personal growth, build confidence, and remember that rejection is not a reflection of your worth

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