Can Being Friends With an Ex Get Them Back?: From Ex to Ally

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Can being friends with an ex get them back to you and start from where you left it off?

The answer to this question is tricky. It all boils down to either what you want or what situation you may find yourself getting stuck in eventually. But surprisingly, you may start out being just friends, and with time, you end up hooking back together. Interesting, right?

Whereas it’s never easy to get over a breakup, navigating the aftermath can be a long and difficult journey. It becomes even more complex if you have children from the union. 

One concern that frequently comes up is whether keeping up a friendship—for whatever reason—can rekindle the romance that once existed.  

“Can being friends with an ex get them back?” is the issue this article explores and attempts to answer. 

Thus, we will look at the potential for exes to become allies.

Dynamics of Being Friends With an Ex

In every breakup, there are immediate consequences that follow as a result. 

The transition period brings with it grief and heartbreak.

Undeniably, when a romantic relationship ends, emotions usually run high, and the prospect of remaining friends may seem challenging. Indeed, some breakups become so traumatizing that some people end up in therapy.

But that is not all…

People in most breakups always go through the denial stage when it becomes hard to believe that everything is over. Furthermore, both anger and sadness ensue later.

However, after the grieving period, proponents of maintaining a friendship with an ex argue that it can provide a foundation for rebuilding trust and connection.

It certainly offers one some time to reflect on some redeeming qualities and recollect the times that you spent together as a couple. This is where being friends with an ex starts instead of bearing lifelong grudges and, with it, the possibility of getting back together.

Rebuilding Trust Through Friendship With an Ex

When you maintain friendship with an ex, the chances of regaining lost trust go a notch higher.

With the passage of time, remorse sets in, and you lay the foundation for forgiveness.

Also, building a strong foundation of friendship allows both individuals to heal from the wounds of the past. 

Trust, a vital component of any relationship, can be slowly reestablished through shared experiences and open communication.

A word of caution though—building trust takes time, and there is no need to rush. Things will fit in the maze at their own pace. If you are meant to be back together, it will be—que sera sera.

Navigating Communication With an Ex as Friends

Lest you forget, communication with an ex becomes polished as each wants to refine the past. Being friends with an ex provides an opportunity for healthier communication than you previously had. 

It particularly allows for discussions about what happened and the actual reasons behind the breakup. It thus provides a platform to address any unresolved issues. 

In addition, this open dialogue lays the groundwork for potential reconciliation. 

Being friends with an ex similarly makes you focus on achieving a compromise, if that is a goal you seek.

Shared History and Understanding

Some people find themselves in an ex status following flimsy disagreements that blew out of proportion.

Such romantic partners often share a deep understanding of each other’s personalities, preferences, and values. You cannot wish these histories away easily. 

Do you feel any emotions if you happen to run into your ex unexpectedly? This could be a positive sign that you still love them.

It could be high time you opened up to discuss the possibility of being friends again, if not lovers, albeit for starters.

To this end, maintaining a friendship leverages this shared history, making it easier to connect on a deeper level and increasing the likelihood of rekindling the romantic spark you once shared.

Risks to Being Friends With an Ex

While the idea of rekindling romance through friendship is appealing, it is essential to acknowledge the potential risks involved.

The risks include:

  • You get entangled, and it becomes hard to move on. You entertain the idea of getting back together at the expense of building a different future
  • You become jealous when you see them with other people
  • The more you remember the past with your ex, the greater the likelihood of injuring your mental health. Your peace of mind gets affected, especially if you still have strong feelings for them
  • In case things don’t work out as per your expectations, you risk having more heartache, this time more painful than the first one
  • What happens to your friends and family? Chances are that they will be uncomfortable with your getting back together as friends, setting you on an awkward path with them

Being Friends With an Ex Brings Mixed Signals

This is where trouble comes in…

Your ex puts you in a catch-69 scenario when they give you conflicting signals. Do they want you back? Are they teasing you? Or are they simply being friendly for old times’ sake?

What’s more, ambiguity can arise when trying to transition from friendship to something more. To be sure, read between the lines before jumping to any conclusion.

Given these points, clear communication about intentions and expectations is crucial to avoid misunderstandings that could complicate the relationship.

In the final analysis, it is equally important to ask yourself the following questions:

  • Can you trust them again?
  • Will your friendship and the possibility of getting back together stand in your way of getting true love?

With this in mind, you will effectively split the mixed signals.

In Final Thoughts

In the quest to answer the question, “Can being friends with an ex get them back?” the key lies in understanding the dynamics of the connection and both parties’ desire to welcome the transition from exes to allies.  

Friendship, when approached with sincerity and openness, can indeed lay the groundwork for a renewed connection, offering the potential for a second chance at love. 

Nonetheless, caution is necessary, considering the emotional well-being of both parties involved, and to communicate openly to guarantee a healthy and respectful transition.


Q1: Can being friends with an ex lead to getting them back?  

A: While it’s possible, there are no guarantees. Depending on the attitudes and willingness of both parties, friendship can lay the groundwork for a reunion.

Q2: How long should I be friends with my ex before considering reconciliation?  

A: There’s no fixed timeline. First, seek emotional healing and rebuild trust. Remember, communication is key; ensure both parties are comfortable before exploring deeper emotions.

Q3: What if my ex is hesitant about being friends? 

A: Respect their feelings and boundaries. If necessary, give them time and space. Eventually, as you work on yourself and cultivate a good rapport, they will become more at ease.

Q4: Can being friends with an ex work if one of us is in a new relationship?    

A: It’s crucial to respect current commitments. It’s also important to be upfront with your ex about your objectives. To protect everyone concerned, move cautiously and maintain openness.

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