9 Causes of Relationship Problems: Unraveling the Main Reasons

In any type of human relationship, particularly love relationships, challenges are inevitable and will occasionally rear their ugly heads.

However, unraveling these causes of relationship problems is a crucial step toward building healthier and more fulfilling connections.

This article delves into nine of the most common challenges, digging into the root causes that often underlie common issues couples face. At the same time, we’ll offer practical solutions that aim to overcome these challenges.

1. Communication Breakdown: The Silent Culprit

A communication breakdown in a relationship spells doom. Up against this, healthy communication is the lifeblood of any relationship. When it falters, problems emerge sooner or later.

So, what are the aftereffects of a communication breakdown?

• Misunderstandings 
• Erosion of trust
• Increased levels of stress
• Resentment to your partner
• Feelings of hopelessness

To counter communication breakdowns, couples should strive to:

• Being proactive in communication: While you are encouraged to share your feelings, learn to also actively listen to your partner’s concerns
• Embrace the “we” concept rather than “i” to show inclusivity
• Try increasing your casual intimacy. It encourages communication, as you’ll be spending lots of time together.

2. Trust Issues: The Fragile Thread

The importance of trust in a relationship is paramount. You not only want your partner to love you but to remain loyal as well. That’s what trust is all about.

Trust, once broken, can be challenging to mend, but, with effort and time, it’s doable. Once achieved, it certainly enhances love in the relationship.

Let us provide insights into rebuilding trust and cultivating a sense of security within the relationship.

• Remember, it takes time, as stated above, to rebuild the lost trust. Don’t rush or come to hasty conclusions. It will certainly bear fruit in due course
• Make room for forgiveness. Being human, no one is immune to errors. Learn to accommodate forgiveness. You never know when your turn is next
• When trust is broken, commit yourselves to rebuilding it. You need to establish the source of betrayal and fight it from the roots
• Having uprooted the problem, it is now time to go forward by setting healthy relationship goals and adhering to the rules you set

3. Mismatched Expectations: Bridging the Gap

Mismatches often happen when the two people in a relationship hold different beliefs and tenets. Even though it is hard to find two people who agree on almost everything, some extreme mismatches will certainly cause problems in a relationship.

Let’s take the case of sexual intimacy, for example. If a woman with low libido marries a man and finds that his sexual appetite is insatiable, they’ll have mismatched expectations. Altogether, this will lead to constant disagreements.

Evidently, divergent expectations between partners can lead to disappointment and conflict.

For such a scenario, it would be best to address the causes of the low libido to try to match the man’s expectations.

Intimacy challenges may also crop up if there are distance issues involved. Seek solutions to counter them and rekindle the flame for a deeper connection. Work out the schedules of meetings as regularly as possible.

Aligning the expectations that you both have is obviously an important proactive measure for promoting relationship harmony.

4. Financial Strains: The Impact of Money Matters

Money is, without a doubt, a common source of tension in relationships. Whereas the means of getting “enough” money could pose a problem, the budget and use of the same are, likewise, a bone of contention.

To avoid strain in a partnership, draw up a budget acceptable to you both for managing your finances as a team.

To this end:

• Be forthright about your sources of income
• What are your short-term needs, e.g., immediate monthly bills, vis a vis your long-term goals, e.g., investments?
• Discuss your joint needs compared to individual needs
• Review your budget constantly
• Remember to stash some cash away for that rainy day

5. Jealousy and Insecurity: Overcoming Emotional Hurdles

Most of us have, once in a while, found ourselves absorbed in fleeting moments of jealousy in a relationship. It’s absolutely normal!

What is not normal is to let ourselves get rooted in those moments for eternity.

What are these roots of jealousy and insecurity, may I ask?

They include:

• Having thoughts, real or imagined, of our partners having affection for another
• Being envious of something that someone possesses and fearing we may lose our partners to them as a result. Better education, for instance. Or perhaps they are better groomed than us
• The fear of the unknown—for instance, the worry that you may lose your partner to a more financially stable person than you. This breeds low self-esteem.

All these emotions can poison a relationship.

So, how do you deal with these fears?

To mitigate jealousy, first identify its root cause and fight it by building trust. By building self-confidence and trust, you and your partner will effectively foster emotional security within the partnership.

Last but not least, develop a healthy attachment to ensure you spend quality time together, to the exclusion of others who may appear to be replacing you.

6. Work-Life Balance: Juggling Career and Love

Some careers require that you spend an enormous amount of time away from home and family. This poses imbalances in work and personal life, particularly impacting relationships.

Take professions like medicine, for example. Not only do you spend long hours at the practice, but you are also required to be on call when there is a shortage of doctors. And believe me, that shortage is biting in most places.

Accordingly, that means you can be roused from your sleep to attend to an emergency at any time.

People in such professions need to maintain a healthy equilibrium [by working out practical shifts where possible], ensuring that career demands do not override the foundation of the relationship.

In cases where you are out for many hours, try to cover lost time by sharing intimate and memorable moments whenever you can. It will be worth your while.

7. Lack of Boundaries: Establishing Healthy Limits

In relationships, boundaries are just as important as those that separate our homes from our neighbors for good neighborliness. Without laid-out boundaries, a relationship will be like having a house full of clatter.

Setting healthy boundaries creates a secure and respectful environment in the relationship.

Here are some guidelines for setting up these helpful boundaries:

• Financial: You are now in a relationship, and the money is no longer yours to entirely use as you please. You need to consult your partner regularly
• Sexual: Communicate with your partner as to preferences, comfortability, and regularity of sex. Your parenting status should also come into focus and discussion
• Physical: Are you the type that requires your own space? It could be in the bedroom, where you need ample space, for instance. Or you detest clatter of any type to avoid feelings of suffocation. Discuss this too

8. Family Interference: Navigating External Influences

Being in a relationship requires that you look at it from many angles.

Discuss the impact of external factors, such as family interference, on relationships. If you expect visitation from one side of the family, have a prior discussion and agree. Impromptu visits may not sit well with one of the partners, thereby causing relationship problems.

When you have such talks, they encourage a harmonious coexistence of the independence of the love relationship and ties to one’s family.

9. Unresolved Conflicts: Breaking the Cycle of Arguments

Now that we have explored the causes of relationship problems, what are the detrimental effects of the conflicts that remain unresolved? 

The conflicts may be recurring ones that seemed to have, at first, had a temporary truce. Then, out of the blue, boom, they resurface.

Here’re quick tips on how to tackle them:

• As shown above, communication is the key to unlocking the causes of relationship problems. If you initially talked about the same problem, don’t worry. Just revisit the issue again
• Try the physical touch— it works magic
• In a recurring problem, you can reach out to a third party, e.g, a church emissary
• Tender sincere apologies where you feel you wronged your partner

If all these fail to resolve your differences, agree to disagree as opposed to breaking up. 

With time, you’ll certainly see where the causes of relationship problems are and hopefully overcome them eventually.

Conclusion: A Course for Causes of Relationship Problems

In summary, establishing robust and long-lasting connections begins with an awareness of the root reasons for relationship issues.

You may create a route for a happier, more satisfying relationship by tackling these underlying issues.

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James Nduati Charagu

James is a published author, blogger, and content writer.

He writes about relationships, marriage, and self-improvement to bring out the best in you.

When not writing, he enjoys having a bourbon and coke, playing with his cat, and traveling the world to discover new places.